Scary Dreams

When we were children we often thought about our dreams as these magical things that would one day happen for no real apparent reason. We were told that we simply could become whatever it is we wanted to be. In our dreams we were astronauts, soccer stars, actors and actresses, zoologists, and firemen/women. And interestingly enough, we were always happy. But the truth of the matter is that dreams are actually quite scary.

Somewhere along the way to becoming an adult we realized that there is much more to making our dreams came true than desire. It takes hard work, knowing the right people, skill, but most of all it takes courage. The thing about dreams is they are risky—we dont know what we’re going to get with them. To chase our dreams means setting aside the normal routine of our life and trying for something that we actually love. And when we try, we can fail. And if we fail, then our dreams turn from fantasies to nightmares—or at least that’s what we’re afraid of. 

The truth is that so many of us are too scared to every chase our dreams. We got to the point where the world has made us realize what our role here is. We’re often stuck in jobs we hate to make ourselves money so we can one day chase our dream. But then we become steadily addicted to the intoxicating aroma of comfort, stability, and big numbers. No matter how much we make, we always need more before it’s “safe” to risk chasing our dreams.

Dreams are scary and hard. They make us uneasy and force us to give up excessive comforts. It isn’t ever the logical, safe, and certain thing to do; but often, it is the best thing.

Chase your dreams or they’ll never become a reality.

Fantasy to Reality

I think there must be something about good movies and good friends that gets my mind all riled up, but whatever it is certainly keeps me from sleeping.

Tonight I watched the Social Network (2nd time). If you haven’t seen it yet, you need to because it is so beautifully done. Aaron Sorkin is a genius. One of the main themes within this movie is the idea of prestige. How we all want this exclusivity—to be apart of something that no one else is. We each want to be special or better than everyone else is someway. In fact we want it so bad that we literally gawk over celebrities, who by the way are still normal people, and we tend to care more about their lives then our own. We literally treat them better and expect higher standards of them for no other reason than the fact the we have chosen to do so. We watch every little thing they do and adore them or criticize them. We make fun of  a celebrity for putting on a few pounds while we ourselves haven’t been to the gym in ages. We’ll always rather fantasize about being great than becoming great.

It’s always easy to get lost in the things we wish we were doing now, but so many of us never actually do anything about it. How often do we waste our lives away as we constantly repeat to ourselves that when “fill in the blank” happens then I’ll chase my dreams. Then I’ll quit this job that I hate, then I’ll tell her I’m in love with her, then I’ll put effort into “blank,” etc. I want to encourage you to at least question yourself. What would happen if you just did that thing you are longing to do instead of putting it off with a bevy of excuses? The thing is that most of us are to afraid, because to try means that we could fail. But for me, that’s a risk we ought to be willing to take.

The Underlying Truth

I just watched Patch Adams today for the first time (yeah I know how have I not seen it before). I was really blown away by everything that it stood for because it confronted me with such an underlying truth. Patch Adams, as well as several other films are capable of reaching our souls because they speak to the very depth of our humanity, that agape, that self-actualization, the human spirit, or whatever you want to call it. But it’s there.

That insatiable truth that permeates every lie we’ve ever conformed to. It’s that part at the very core of ourselves that knows truth better then we want to believe. That pounding of your heart that knows when you see evil, even though you’ve been told that it’s good, or viceversa.

I think all people have that truth inside of us, just as Patch Adams, and so many other amazing people have. I think the main difference between most people and those others is that they choose to listen to it. They choose to say screw the rules, screw conformity, screw the way its always been done because in the depth of my heart I know this is wrong and it can and will be better.

It’s not the people who had great thoughts that were able to make our world a better place, but the people who listened to them and had courage to follow through.

Regret Time Machine

Have you ever had one those moments in life that you'd give anything just to go back in time and change that decision? The one who got a way, the interview you missed, the friend you lost, etc. I think that for all of us there's at least something we can look back on in life and go, "Man, I really wish I had done ___ instead of ____." I think we often think, "My life could be so much better." But when you really think about it, would things really be all that different?

I mean, think about it for just a second. Go back into that one moment of time you wish you could change and change it. Then, think about the giant butterfly effect it has on your life.

For me, I'll take the example of loosing weight in High School.

Throughout most of my life I was definitely one of the "bigger" kids. I was 5' 8" 185lbs and a freshman in high school. By my senior year I was the same height and I weighed in at 215. I had definitely put on muscle due to football, but it wasn't enough to excuse my weight. Now I was still very athletic and even started both ways on my varsity football team. Heck, I even danced my ass off in West Side Story as the lead Jet, Riff. But that didn't change the fact that all of that could have been so much better had I dropped the extra 40+ lbs of fat I was carrying around on me.

Since going though college, and meeting some very fit focused friends, I took up the challenges to actually get into shape. I wanted a six pack and "the v." My freshman year i dropped down to about 198 and my sophomore year i dropped down to 174 and I felt and looked and felt amazing. I could run easier, jump higher, and my self-esteem rose to a new level I had never even dreamed of before then.

So what if I had done that back in high school? We'll, for starters, in football through constant training and hard work in the offseason and being quite youthfully healthy for my 5'8" 215lbs frame, I ran a 4.9 40 time. Now, not being in constant trend of working out and having a torn right meniscus, I ran a 4.78, on grass, in crappy soccer cleats.

My thoughts? I could have been a damn good running back, or at least an elite d-lineman rather than a all-league honorable mention. Who knows, I could have even gone to college and played ball somewhere.

Aside from football, my self-esteem would have been much higher. I definitely wouldn't have been so afraid of girls or thought poorly of myself as much. My life and I would've been so drastically different.

But, if that had happened, if that had really happened, would I be any truly happier? Its possible yes. But I never would have met any of the amazing people I met at Hope International University. Nor would my view of God ever expanded and opened up to new horizons. I wouldn't have overcome the many struggles I'd been through or learned what it truly means for me to follow Christ. I may have become close minded and stayed separate from the world, or I could have "fallen" into it and had my life riddled with guilt. I may have never really known God the way I do now.

So would I go back and change it if I really had the chance?

I don't know. It sure sounds tempting, but life would be so different if we had.

I can't go back and change time. We all live with the choices we make, and all we can hope to do is strive to make the best choices for our future without getting to caught up on the past. I'm happy with where my life is right now. I also don't like a lot of it, but that can't change the fact that everyday we ought to do what we can to put our best foot forward and change ourselves and our world for the better.

Following and a recent horrible decision I made that probably has ended in the loss of one of my closest friends, I've so often wished I could just take one text message back. But truth is, though it sucks now, and a lot of life seems hopeless, I know that one day I'll look back and ask, "Would I really change it if I could?"

Would you?